Under A Big Top

Classic Product Warnings:

On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

On a ketchup bottle:Instructions: Put on food.

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes.

In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair.

On a washing machine in a launderette: No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster: Do not use underwater.

On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.