Roll up, roll up!

Friday, July 29, 2005

The Inconsistent Mr Dergarabedian

Paul Dergarabedian is president of box office tracking company Exhibitor Relations.

His comments two weeks ago on the success of “Fantastic Four” were:

"Comic-book movies, if properly marketed, are exactly what mainstream audiences want to see in their summer movies,"

And his comments today on the surprise success, in the US, of French documentary “March of the Penguins” were:

"This is a breath of fresh air in terms of positive news on the box office front. It also shows that people want something different. They want something unique."

Half Baked

"A deal on climate change that doesn't limit pollution is the same as a peace plan that allows guns to be fired."

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Here Comes The Science Bit, Concentrate!

"During the long growing season, fruit is held in a relatively constant position in relation to the Earth's magnetic field, aligning the liquid particles much like tiny compass needles. This natural balance gives fresh picked fruit its smooth, natural flavor."

"The delicate magnetic alignment of the liquid particles is destroyed during the crushing, straining, pasteurizing, fermenting, and distilling used to manufacture liquid beverages. But there is a cure for this terrible destruction. For as little as $29.95 you can buy the Shooter Buddy Junior. This "quickly realigns the particles in your beverage by surrounding them with extremely powerful Neodymium (ne-o-dim-e-um) magnets...In as little as 10 seconds, Shooter Buddy restores the natural balance destroyed in the production process, recaptures the fresh taste of nature, and duplicates the smooth mellow flavor generated by years of traditional slow aging".

Monday, July 18, 2005

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

Rescuers of a wild giant panda which wandered into a Chinese city were led on a day-long chase before capturing the animal.

The panda was first seen and pursued by residents in Dujiangyuan, in south-western Sichuan province, who thought it was a burglar.

It escaped by scrambling over roofs, and was later seen swimming a river before climbing up a tree.

It was brought down by firemen using a tranquiliser dart and a rope.

The giant panda is one of the world's most endangered species, with fewer than 1,600 living in the wild in western China.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Wonderful World

South Africa:
The Vredefort Dome near Johannesburg is the site of the oldest and largest meteorite impact - the world's greatest known release of energy event, which caused devastating global change and led to major evolutionary changes, say some scientists.

Dating back 2023 million years, it provides critical evidence of the earth's geological history.

The desert floor of Wadi al-Hitan, or Whale Valley, south of Cairo is littered with fossils of the last whales known to have legs.

The remains reveal the transition of whales from land-based to the ocean-going mammals we know today.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

When Is A Car Like A Cloud?

A traffic forecasting system capable of predicting traffic conditions seven days in advance went live to the public in California on Wednesday 29th of June.

Alongside the weather forecast, viewers of KXTV News 10 in Sacramento can now get 3D animations of their local road network, showing not only where the gridlock is but also where it is likely to be.

The system, called Beat-the-Traffic, is the first public traffic forecasting system that combines real-time traffic density and speed with historical trends on major routes.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Only 2,249 people have so far reached the summit of Everest/Mount Sagarmatha.

Under A Big Top

Classic Product Warnings:

On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp.

On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

On a ketchup bottle:Instructions: Put on food.

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes.

In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair.

On a washing machine in a launderette: No small children.

On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster: Do not use underwater.

On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.

Monday, July 11, 2005

You’ve Got Mail

“Why do reds, oranges and yellows seem to grab our attention while blues, indigos and violets are more reserved?

This is due to the speed at which each colour travels towards the eye - reds, being produced by short-wave light, travel very quickly while blues are long waves which proceed more slowly." – London Daily Mail 28th May 2005

The Shape Of Things To Come

"Comic-book movies, if properly marketed, are exactly what mainstream audiences want to see in their summer movies," - Paul Dergarabedian, president of box office tracker Exhibitor Relations.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Kids In The Playground

Jacques Chirac’s recent comments on British Food:

"One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad,"

"The only thing they (the English) have ever done for European agriculture is mad cow disease,"

"After Finland, it is the country with the worst food."

And commenting on an incident when Lord George Robertson, the former Secretary General of Nato, made him try a Scottish dish:

"That is where our difficulties with Nato come from,"